Tuesday, May 25, 2010

new thoughts

Thanks for all the comments and lovely compliments, which truly I was not fishing for (I swear!) but enjoyed all the same. What a great blogiversary it was! The winner of the skein of yarn will be posted tomorrow; I just need to get my random integer generator working.

My new and improved header gives a clue as to where I have decided to head with this. My life is centered in my home. My husband's practice, where I work, is in our home. I am, technically speaking, a stay-at-home mom, who also runs a small home-based business and a tiny homestead farm. The only thing we don't do here is homeschool our kids.

A hundred years ago we would have been run-of-the-mill. Now we are statistical outliers. Believe me, I do realize how lucky I am but I would like to be more accepting that this is a perfectly valid place for me to be, at least at the moment. That I can be happy being happy here, which I am. Conventional society would have me think that my education has been wasted. I went to a women's college, where "home" and "wife" and "baby" were four-letter words, to the extent they were even mentioned at all, and of course there's that whole law school education. I consoled myself that the most brilliant woman in our law school class was home as well... but then she e-mailed me recently for help with the charitable organization that she is setting up, and mentioned that she had just finished writing a book. She didn't exactly talk about the photo and interview in the New York Times; I found those when I googled her name.

Way for me to feel like a slacker!

Even my kids are stumped by what I do. A recent kindergarten project asked the kids to write a book about their family. Dad is easily pigeon-holed, of course. Mom's page went blank while we wrote the rest of the book, then Terzo dictated:

A few weeks later, Secondo, while reading through the dictionary (anything to avoid doing his homework!) exclaimed "I got it! I know what you are! You're a girl Friday!" as if the categorization had been troubling him as well.

In the spirit of stretching my brain muscles just a little bit more than folding the laundry requires, I want to try to reflect more on the home connection. I have no idea at this point where that might go and perhaps the answer is absolutely nowhere. Of course I reserve the right to tell completely off-topic stories and put up funny pictures of my kids, though chances are that the stories will have something to do with our home and the kids do live here after all.

Plus sheep photos as well, of course. But then, they live here too.


  1. I think you live a very enviable life that I'd like to have. You have it all, Kris. It is true that our culture is slanted to leave us thinking that we have failed if this is where we find ourselves. But thank goodness it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Plus, I think this is what we think about when we reach this age. If you ever get bored, I'm certain you will find more places to contribute. That's hilarious about Terzo's story! (I can't even remember his real name now). I would like to live on a 50-acre plot like the one I grew up on with lots of animals somewhere outside a major metropolitan area so I'm not isolated from great arts culture. And I'd like to still be able to work outside the home. Time will tell.

  2. One thought (and you might recall that I was not part of the pay-checked workforce for a significant period of time): It is highly unlikely that you can predict where you will be and what you will do even 10 years out. Little could I have imagined how my path would have led me. And for those who scorned my decision to stay home when I did, I say, 'Go pick on someone else. I'm too busy to judged by the likes of you.'

    As for the education? What more important than to provide guidance and a quest for knowledge than to three boys?

    Sorry, Secondo, Girl Friday doesn't do it. Teacher, project manager, shepherd, and textile craftsperson are a start, but only a teeny, weeny start.

  3. Girl Friday!? Now there is a label you don't come across every day. I was just interviewed last week by a reporter from the Inky on the idea of suburban / urban homesteading. It took me until the next night to wrap my brain around what I do and WHY. As you said, years ago no one would blink an eye at the 40 chickens roaming my two acres, the bees in the meadow, canned homemade soup in the pantry, laundry on the line and non-commercial yogurt in my fridge. But now I'm the weird egg lady on my street. Heaven forbid if they discovered we lack a tv (though I'm addicted to my iPhone) and I make my own yarn. But hey, it keeps me out of trouble. At least until next year when I see turkeys in my future!

  4. Anyone who suggests you need to justify your choices is not someone you need to be around.
    You are doing a spectacular job.

    As you grow older, you will come to see there are many paths.

    People are jealous if they say otherwise.