mother's day minefields

I am always a little wary when the boys come home from school with free-style missives in time for Mother's Day. As is the way with all children, you never know just what they are going to say and chances are very good that you would have preferred a little less brutal honesty. The cynical side of me suspects that this is a highlight of the year for teachers, a little payback dirt for all the lip they've had to take from parents throughout the school year.

One year, Primo's third-grade teacher sent home a book of poems written by all the children in the classroom to their individual mothers. Now, she was not a mother and probably could not appreciate the pitfalls of such an approach. It's one thing to know that the teacher knows what your kid said about you, but it's another thing entirely to have your kid's words broadcast to every other parent in the classroom.

I was extremely relieved to read my poem, which went:

My mom is very nice.
Very nice and helpful.
She helps us with all our jobs.
She is very loveable (sic).

Much better than this one:

My mom is sweet like chocolate
and sour like a lemon.
She loses her mind sometimes.
But we love her and that's what matters.

And I can't imagine that it was a very nice Mother's Day for the poor woman whose child wrote only this:

Sometimes I never get to see my mom
because she is always on trips.

Nor for the child, I suspect. I should note that the next year, the teacher was transferred to the computer department. I do not know if there was any connection.

This year, Terzo came home with the following list. The first part were the set questions, and his answers are after the colons.

• Likes to play with: me playing board games and knit.



• Likes to eat: spinach and all sorts of food.



• Likes to drink: wine because it's her favorite.



• Likes to go to: all sorts of restaurants because she eats a lot.



• Likes the TV show: she doesn't watch TV that much.

Joan commented that I obviously don't have that much time for TV because I am too busy stuffing my face and then drinking wine until I pass out.

Happy Mother's Day, to all you great moms (and godmothers and aunts and guiding forces -- you know who you are) out there!