imposter

I know I promised you pictures of vintage books and patterns. They are coming, I promise. But for the last few days, I have been busy Thinking. Yes, capital T. Cue ominous music...

It started with a friend's post on Facebook about a week ago, identifying with this article about feeling like a fraud. Unfortunately, this is an issue I struggle with all too often. For whatever reason, I tend to minimize my own accomplishments and talents, worrying that I will be "caught out" and exposed for the fraud I am—because how the heck could I possibly know that much about anything? People telling me otherwise isn't really the point, because I know what I know.

Yes, fairly limiting. But easier in many ways than putting myself out there and taking a chance.

It was furthered by discussion on many knitting groups about this competition. In a nutshell, the Skacel Yarn Company has come up with a fantastic idea: a virtual knitting design competition, similar to Project Runway in issuing challenges to contestants, while a little kinder in that contestants won't get voted off on a weekly basis. Grand prize is a trip to Germany to tour their yarn and needle factories. Hats are off to Skacel for an innovative and compelling marketing idea.

For the past few days, I found my thoughts circling back to the idea of the competition, dreaming about taking part while convincing myself that I simply don't have the design chops and experience to pull it off. I went so far as to read through the rules and application this morning, and decided two things:

1. I'm not ready to do this kind of thing.


2. Yet. 

I will definitely be watching and perhaps even participating unofficially. I will not be applying because I don't have a design portfolio to present, but my goal for this year is to work on that. A competition like this may not come along again, but how will I know what I can do if I don't start doing it? My one little hat pattern has been very well received, despite zero publicity. Time to take it farther and see just what I can do.

My friend Marta gave me this awesome design notebook for Christmas. It has room for 30 projects. I don't know if I will get 30 done this year, but I already have ideas for half a dozen. Who knows what I can accomplish if I apply some dedicated time and effort to this project?

The next deadline for Knitty is March 1. My accepted projects are due March 15. Seaman's Institute "Christmas at Sea" program is holding a contest for a new hat design. I have plans for all three, and then some.

I'm the limit. Not the sky. Just me.