It's no secret to anyone who has talked to me lately that I am on memory overload. It is the perfect storm of end-of-year activities here: potlucks and baseball playoffs and band practices and travel soccer tryouts and preschool picnics and on and on and on. Add on a new huge project for work, and my head is ready to explode. This has resulted in me walking around in a constant fog of worry and dread, knowing that I am forgetting something, but unsure as to what it might actually be.
Take Thursday, for example, where I managed to remember the start-up of four-year-old library story time and late pick-up for band kid. I even managed to get a baseball uniform clean and related kid to pre-game practice more or less on time (he would say less, but I don't listen to such nit-picking). But when one of my managers showed up to the training session I was running at work that night, I didn't recognize her for a good thirty seconds, which seemed like at least fifteen minutes, as I stared at her blankly with not a clue as to who she might be while she talked away to me. In my defense, I had only met her in person once before. However, I had been told that she was going to attend training that night. These are the things that keep me awake with unspecified, gnawing worry at 3 am.
Take today: I have four separate events that I have to bring food to over the next three days, so I needed to do the shopping for all of them (because, with one exception, there is no overlap in ingredients). I am terrified that I am going to forget one. I made a detailed list of all commitments and necessary pre-work. I stumbled a bit when I went to the preschool gym session an hour late this morning. Mind you, he has been attending this class for six months straight. What made me think it was at 11:15 am instead of 10:15 am, I will never know. But I recovered. I worked, I did a puzzle, I made calls, I made dinner, I got a kid to horseback riding and then pre-game practice, I worked, I shopped for presents needed for tomorrow, I made calls, I cooked and baked....
And then I realized that I had blown off a church commitment, which had taken place sometime around 11:30 am this morning. Of course, recognition dawned at 9:30 pm, too late to call and apologize profusely.
Please don't bother to tell me I obviously have too much on my plate. It's already abundantly clear to me. Where do you think the "crazy" in my title comes from, anyway?