busy busy busy

I am sick of this word coming out of my mouth. "Where have you been?" "Busy! So busy." "What's going on?" "The usual busyness." Blah blah blah. So on and so forth.

Of course I am busy. We are all busy. Everyone is busy. It's inherent in life. When I was in high school, my writing teacher forbade use of the adjective "nice" as a descriptive. "Nice is a nice word," was his phrase.

Same thing with busy. Busy is a busy word. What am I busy with? The quality of the busy must be considered. Some busyness, when you are raising kids and running a business (or two), is expected. But some busyness is more meaningful and fulfilling and necessary than others; even being busy has its own hierarchy of worthiness.

Going back to work outside the house, take two, because that college tuition must be paid somehow, has sharpened my focus with regard to how I manage my time and most especially my busyness. Using it as a cudgel on those around me is a bad habit that I am trying to avoid, not always successfully. A few weeks ago on a particularly hectic morning, Secondo started to tell me some tale of high school drama, and I cut him off. "Sorry, I can't listen now. I'm too busy. Can you tell me later?"

Ouch. No excuse can justify my thoughtlessness; whatever I was doing at that moment wasn't that important. Of course later never came. It remains to be seen if I have permanently lost my status of confidant with those stupid words.

This article suggests banning the word from your vocabulary, and I'll be starting there. Prioritizing and being more mindful of my busyness will be the next step. Is this current busy worth it? Do I need to be this busy? I should never be too busy to listen.

All these deep musings about busy were kicked off by this article about the trap of busyness. It made me think, is putting myself into ceaseless motion an attempt to avoid something in my life?

I started to think long and hard about this. What is it that I am seeking to avoid? Why am I throwing myself into these activities and task-making? The answer has slowly come to me over the last few days and it turns out...

I will do anything to avoid cleaning the house. That is a busy I want no part of. Also, it doesn't really matter. The mess in the picture above? 90% kids. I took the time to clean off the dining room table of all my various projects for tonight's guests, and fake-fancify it with a tablecloth to hide the dust, and some candles to distract from the dust bunnies on the floor...

I returned from work to find this display of cat mayhem. Another reason why I am fully justified in not bothering to begin with.